


Devil's Backbone

by KarenHardy



Series: Carry On Wayward Winchesters [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is pining, Dean's little sister tries to help, Devil's Backbone - The Civil Wars, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 06:26:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15835623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenHardy/pseuds/KarenHardy
Summary: Cas prays when he realizes he's in love with Dean. (contains an oc Winchester sister, she only shows up trying to comfort Cas, the majority of the fic is the song lyrics and Cas pining) Don't like, don't read, don't hate, bitches.





	Devil's Backbone

At night when the Winchesters were fast asleep, Castiel prayed.

“Oh Lord,” he began, “Oh Lord… what have I done? I've fallen in love with a man on the run. Oh Lord… oh Lord, I'm begging you please, don't take this sinner from me. Just don't take this sinner from me.”

Soft tears coated his cheeks. Shocked, he touched them. He had never cried before. It must be related to his human vessel. He pressed on.

“Oh Lord, oh Lord, what do I do? I’ve fallen for someone who's nothing like you. He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone, oh I just want to take him home… oh I just want to take him home.”

The more Cas prayed, the more he contemplated Dean. All the man had done for his family. His brother, his sister. He'd gone to hell to save Sam. Who knows what he'd do for Recce.

“Oh Lord, oh Lord, he's somewhere between the hangman's knot and three mouths to feed. There wasn't a right or wrong he could choose, he did what he had to do… he did what he  _ had _ to do.”

He heard the squeaking of bedsprings and soft footsteps. He wiped his eyes and turned. It was Recce, the youngest Winchester.

“I thought I heard crying.” She said. “Was that you?”

All Cas could do was nod lamely.

“It's okay Cas. We're going to find God.”

She thought he was distraught over the lack of luck they'd been having finding the Father. Laughable. Cas shook his head, mustering up the courage to speak.

“I somehow doubt that,” he finally muttered. “But as it is, that is not what… what ails me.”

Recce cocked her head innocently.

“Why are you upset, then?”

Castiel smiled at her sadly. He had never thought that  _ this _ would be how he fell. That he would fall… in love. He was in love with Dean Winchester and he just… he couldn't help it. The man was a hunter. He killed things. He was stained. But then, when Castiel had raised him from perdition, the second he laid his hand on the man, he knew. This man was his soulmate, and there was nothing he could do.

“You could not comprehend my ailment.”

“Try me. You're sobbing like a teenage girl with a broken heart.”

Cas laughed softly at just how spot on her analogy was.

“See, I made it a little better. Tell me what 'ails’ you.”

She sat down cross legged beside him, leaning forward to listen.

“It’s nothing, Recce. Let it lie.”

“Only if you can look me in the eyes and tell me there is absolutely no way I can help.”

Cas sighed and locked into her hazel gaze, so much like her brother’s but so uniquely her own.

“There is absolutely no way you can help me.”

Recce broke eye contact with a sigh.

“Fine.” She said. “If you’re sure…”

She got up and walked back to her bed, it creaking under her weight.

“G’night Cas.”

“Sleep well, Recce.”

He waited until he was sure the girl had fallen back to sleep to resume his prayer.

“Give me the burden,” he whispered, “Give me the blame. I’ll shoulder the load, and I’ll swallow the shame. Give me the burden, give me the blame. How many-” He choked on the tears that had begun falling again at full force. “How many Hail Marys is it gonna take?”

Castiel wiped his eyes again, quietly finishing.

“Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not. He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got. Oh Lord, oh Lord, I’m begging you please; don’t take that sinner from me.

Oh don’t take that sinner from me.”

Blue eyes looked up to the sky.

“Amen.”


End file.
